Let down!

Watching: Bones

I feel like I'm gonna explode!!!
Can't for my life understand how the fuck I ended up this way, and from now on-alone- in this hellhole.

I wanna leave NOW, never turn back, dissapear until I can get a clue of what I'm doing here and how to go on!!
I mean this is what I want, but not like this.. it wasn't fast, but it was without any pain.. That was good enough for me, thinking I was the one that was supposed to feel bad.
Now I'm just pissed that it wasn't sooner, pissed that I've been feeling bad about the one thing that was right to do.
Pissed that people take it to far, cos they're afraid to do anything themself, so they wait for someone else to do it for them.
I wish things were different, and I wish someone had ended it for me MUCH earlier.
I wouldn't have felt like I've been kicked in the teeth.....

I wan't this long gone and forgotten, these last few months have been the worst in my life.
Crap, turned into a lie.. again!
Some people just can't change.